It’s been a little while since I had a heart to heart with you, blog.
If you’ve been reading Oatmeal after Spinning for a while, you probably know that I struggle with my weight, body image and general self-acceptance. Though I love to exercise (yes, I honestly love it) and have made a career of teaching others to get motivated, fit and healthy, I struggle with my own issues on a daily basis. I have taken some brave steps to get help with some of these issues, and have definitely come a long way in the last four months. I’m not going to take up a whole post talking about that stuff, but if you’re interested, you can get a pretty good idea here about where I’m coming from.
Brace yourself though- I’m going to be pretty honest here. And honestly, I’m a little nervous about that.
(and… it’s a long post!)
Since I started this blog, I’ve been on a mission to lose weight. Not a lot- just enough to get back to a “healthy” weight and more importantly- feel good about myself and comfortable in my skin. In the fall, when I was going through a lot of big changes with my career, I was kind of a wreck. I was stressed, and in turn, gained weight. Between the beginning of September and the middle of October, I somehow gained over 10 lbs. And I stayed there for the next 6 weeks or so. And then one day, in the beginning of December, I decided to join Weight Watchers. I’ve actually done WW a number of times in my life, but never went to meetings and mostly did everything online. I decided to do it differently this time and chose a meeting time that would work for me each week and committed to attending weekly meetings. I followed the program and lost 2 lbs. the first week. And then I lose another two pound the next week. And the next. But, on the fourth week (which was right after New Year’s), I gained 2.5 lbs. And it took me three weeks to lose that.
Since then I’ve had minimal losses/gains each week and just haven’t been able to get back to where I was in the beginning where I felt so positive and was ready to commit. I am still going to the meetings, tracking points (most of the time), but I’m not 100% committed. I’ve lost motivation.
And this is the story of my life (when it comes to weight loss). I’ll be so excited about something in the beginning, and if I find success, I’ll keep going. But, the moment I “fail” or have an obstacle in my way, I throw in the towel.
Typing it out, it sounds ridiculous to me. I am not a quitter, and I know I’m not a failure. I know that I can do anything that I set my mind to.
With the stress of selling the house, the unpredictable schedules, going out to eat way too much and not sleeping well, weight loss has just not been happening this month. I just keep thinking that I’ll recommit later. But, why wait? Life is always going to happen. There are always going to be obstacles, things that you can’t control, and you just have to adapt.
Last month, my good friend April asked me to go to this Weight Loss Hypnosis class with her, because she bought a two-for-one deal on Groupon. I thought: Hypnosis? Sounds hokey to me… but I’ll give it a shot!
Really, I’ve “tried everything else,” so why not this? And this past Sunday, I checked it out.
I walked into the session with an open mind and ready to accept anything that was presented to me. I was pretty sure that the presenter would not try to brainwash me and make me bark like a dog.
The class was presented through an organization called Living Lite, which offers hypnosis for weight loss and smoking cessation. My session was led by Sue Ouellette, who is a licensed nurse practitioner and health care educator. And she was wonderful- smart, funny and made everyone feel instantly comfortable. Sue explained to my group (which was made up of about 40-50 people, most of them women) that she had attended the Living Lite workshop herself many years ago in Seattle and was successful at losing weight afterwards. She also explained that hypnosis is not about what you see on tv- making someone lose control or do crazy things. Hypnosis is about getting into a deep, relaxed state that reaches the sub-conscious mind. She related it to the state of mind that you’re in when you’re in the shower (when I often have my best ideas!) or when driving for a long time (when you all the sudden think “whoa, how did I get here?”); it’s that relaxed mental state when you’re not distracted. Some people are more receptive to hypnosis that others.
The class was three hours long, and began with a basic group discussion about challenges with weight-loss and self acceptance. We had to choose a phrase to associate with the vision of our ideal, thin, fit, healthy body. Mine was my happy body. After that, we were led into our first (of four) hypnosis. The first session took the longest, so that Sue could allow enough time to teach everyone to get into a relaxed state. I was able to relax pretty easily and let go of any mind chatter (thanks, yoga!). After giving detailed instructions about how to relax the entire body from head to toe, Sue began discussing the first topic, which was to imagine your ideal, thin, fit, healthy body. She spoke about every part of the body and instructed us to imagine it in detail, again from the toes all the way to the top of the head. I imagined myself in my happy body, which (luckily) isn’t too far from how it looks now- but there are definitely some areas that need more improvement than others. My legs looked exactly the same- I’ll take it!
After the first session ended, we had a brief discussion and were led into the next session, and this pattern continued until we had completed the four sessions. And, of course, I took a lot of notes.
Like my tip about drinking water? 
Session 2 was about eliminating a food from your diet that was standing in the way of your success. While Sue doesn’t advocate cutting anything that you want to eat completely out of your diet- the point of this was to eliminate a “problem” food for a period of two weeks. After two weeks, you may or may not choose to eat that food again (often it’s something that you don’t desire at all anymore, but the point is that it no longer controls you).
I don’t really have a specific food that sabotages my diet, because I generally choose “healthy” foods to eat. However, I do have a big problem with portion control, and often eat far too much and mindlessly. So, instead of choosing one food to eliminate, I chose to get rid of a specific action: reaching for a handful of this or that. I can’t tell you how many times a day I mindlessly grab a handful of something- and that adds up!
I won’t go into specific detail of how exactly the exercise went, but will say that Sue created a very specific scenario for us that involved envisioning the “problem” food and it resulted in seeing it as something that is completely undesirable.
It’s only been a day- but I can honestly say that since I came home from the class, I have not even thought about grabbing a handful of anything. The thought of it actually repulses me. Weird.
Session 3 was the most emotional for me. It was about “unzipping the fat suit.” In the hypnosis, we envisioned ourselves wearing a fat suit and feeling its burden (physically and emotionally). Then, piece by piece, we unzipped the fat suit. I was very deeply connected with this session, and suddenly felt tears streaming down my cheeks. I thought about confronting the “fat girl” vision of myself that I will probably always carry a little bit and watched it be stripped off slowly. Once the fat suit was off, I envisioned throwing it off a cliff and watching it break into a million pieces. And it felt really good.
The last session was about breaking down the wall that stands in the way of getting the healthy, fit body you want (my happy body). We envisioned ourselves walking down a road and coming upon a wall. Sue did not describe how big the wall was, or what it was made of- we were to determine that ourselves. On the other side of the wall was my happy body. We then had to get over to the other side in any way possible- whether it was climbing over/under the wall, going around it, going through it (through a door) or breaking it down completely.
After that last session, we discussed what our wall was made of and how we broke it down. The majority of people said that their wall was big and wide and made of stone or brick, and there were a number of different answers for how they got to the other side. My wall was pretty small in comparison- only about 6′ tall and 8′ wide and made of plywood. To get to the other side, I shook it and then kicked it down. It was easy. Interesting, huh? I guess that maybe that means that what’s standing in the way of my happy body really isn’t that complicated or daunting- that it’s pretty simple and small. Hmm.
I felt really good after the class was over and actually purchased some of the CDs that offer the same meditation techniques. Right now I feel really inspired and motivated, but I know that for me, that usually fades after a few days or weeks. I’d like to think that if I start feeling uninspired or unmotivated, I can listen to the CDs with the specific meditation/hypnosis that I need the most help with and get back to that state.
I made a decision to also stop chewing gum. I know that sounds a little random and strange, but it’s a huge addiction for me, and I’ve been thinking about “quitting” for a while (but never really wanted to). I’ll elaborate more on that in a later post.
Today, I’m feeling good. I really like this quote that Sue told us, because it’s so true:
When Sue said these words, they definitely resonated with me. She emphasized over and over again how it’s in our own control to have the life that we want- one that is not controlled by food. I think about the big changes in my life that I’ve made over the last year (job, moving), and know that having the life I really desire is possible.
I will probably have a lot of other bits of information to share that I learned from this remarkable class over the next few days. I would highly recommend it to anyone that is having trouble losing weight or just feels like they are controlled by food. I’m so glad that I was a part of it!
What an interesting and COOL experience. So happy you were able to take something away and recommit to YOURSELF.
Wow! So interesting. Especially about creating an aversion to a problem food or habit. Thats amazing. I also think your wall vision is very telling–you can do this and you’re not far from it! My mom is a big advocate for hypnosis, and it’s just as you described. More about interacting with your thoughts and mindset. I’m so excited for you–it sounds like you have something that will help you along. But don’t forget that you are beautiful and strong already!!
Thanks, Michelle- what nice things to say!
i did hypotherapy in NZ. It was more for fear of getting sick again. It did bring out a lot of emotional issues. I think that’s what holds us back from truly healing or like you, accepting.
I think it is great that you went outside your comfort zone to try something new! Most people struggle with that initial excitement about starting fresh only to be sidetracked by one thing or another. It is a simple case of self-sabotage that is really difficult to overcome. Sounds like the meditation techniques will be helpful in the future and you can keep up your momentum!
That’s really interesting. I do think that state of mind is a huge factor in success. As for WW, what’s helped me is to be very honest with myself which is something that I struggled with in the past. If I have a handful of cereal, I’ll count it as 1 point, even though it might be less. It’s kind of a pain, but counting every single morsel really does help.
Hope the hypnosis works! Weight issues are such a bitch.
They ARE a bitch.
I’m like, 90% honest with tracking. I think it’s that 10% that gets me. I really think it boils down to lazniess, I don’t feel like always logging in every single damn bite because I don’t think they matter- but yeah, they add up!
Wow, that sounds awesome! I had a friend once who went to hypnosis (a one-on-one session) to get her life on track, and some of the weirdest stuff happened afterward. For her entire life, she’d despised tomatoes, but the hypnotist had used a metaphor of being a tomato during one of her sessions and for years afterward she was ravenous toward tomatoes. Couldn’t get enough of them. It’s crazy what the mind can do!
I’m glad you’re feeling recommitted and excited.
Whoa- that is crazy! I’m glad he made her like tomatoes too- she was missing out!
Sounds interesting. The problem is in our mind after all, so to me it makes sense to start there. And I’d love to hear if it continues to help keep you out of the snacks.
I constantly feel like a circus performer spinning plates on poles, and one of them is always clattering to the ground. Honestly, its usually the “healthy living plate”–getting enough sleep, eating proper meals at regular times, and working out. This year, I’ve become so determined to keep everything in balance, but I noticed that this also makes me harder on myself! So…work in progress?
Yeah, it’s definitely hard to juggle ALL of those “plates”- I’m good with handling MOST of them, but something always gets less attention than it needs (like sleeping enough). You’ve got a lot going on, and I give you a lot of credit for finding any kind of balance!
Lauren- I really loved your post. I think people assume that bloggers/healthy living bloggers have it all figured out when each & everyone has a struggle of some sort. I’m very similar to you in my goal setting as I get really motivated & then 3 days later fall off the cliff. It sounds like this hypnosis could work really well for you! I’ve found huge strength is prepping (not just good but everything in my life) and surrounding myself with positive people has changed me in so many ways. Keep up the good work & I can’t wait to follow your success!
Best of luck!
E
Thanks for the comment, Emily! It’s funny- because in my WW meetings, the leader points me out as an example for exercise often. A few weeks ago, another member said to me “That’s so crazy- I always thought that exercise instructors could just eat whatever they want and lose weight easily.” Definitely NOT the case!
Preparation and planning is SO the key- I just don’t take as much time for it anymore because I was so OVERLY planned in my years as a teacher. I got burnt out!
What a super interesting post regarding the hypnosis! I really liked the sessions and the process behind them. I hope that it works for you and the excitement doesn’t wear off in a few weeks. Keep picturing that happy body girl! PS: I love the term ‘happy body’ much better than skinny or thing.
Thanks, Brooke! You are an inspiration for sure.
And I can honestly say that I have ZERO desire to be SKINNY. I’d rather have just a little less “cushioning” than I do now to show off my muscles that I have worked so hard for!
Hypnosis is a really cool idea. I think that this is going to be really helpful to you.
I still think you should read intuitive eating (esp. since it will go nicely with what you’re learning in hypnosis, from the sounds of it). This sentence: “I’ll be so excited about something in the beginning, and if I find success, I’ll keep going. But, the moment I “fail” or have an obstacle in my way, I throw in the towel.” is almost verbatim what they talk about in the first chapter.
I’m really glad you are seeking something else besides weight watchers and tracking. Yes, it’s worked for you in the past, but clearly you need something different this time.
HUGS! I feel like I haven’t heard from you in ages.
I’ll definitely still read that book- I’m currently reading a few that are similar right now, but I’ll get to it.
And I am still doing WW and tracking- and it DOES work when I actually do it right and am honest. That’s just the part I need to focus on- honesty.
Cool post. Very open and honest. I practiced mindful mediation and hypnosis for smoking cessation, and it sounded very similar to your experience. I haven’t had a cigarette in years so it worked for me. I hope the same for you.
That’s so awesome! Congrats on being cigarette free!!
That sounds so cool & interesting–& KUDOS to you for opening up about it all!!
Visualizing & feeling what it is what we want is super powerful, and I know that is what has helped me get to where I am!
I love this post! I got emotional just *reading* your experience with the third phase. I wouldn’t have been bawling like a baby. I hope that this brings a new surge of motivation for you! <3
Thanks, love. I know you understand how hard this control issue of “you vs. food” is!
I saw this groupon as well and debating purchasing it, but eventually decided against it. Next time I see it, I think I’ll go for it. Thanks for the insight!
Do it- it’s totally worth it! Even better if you can get a friend to go too so that you can talk to each other about your experience!
That sounds really cool! I think that’s pretty awesome you went – and came back with a lot from it and a lot of feedback. I’ve never been hypnotized, but I think the closest is in a reaaallly good savasana
Hey there- I just wanted to send you some words of support. I completely, 100% understand what you are feeling, what you are going through. I experience the same things, am battling the same 10lbs., and have been for the past several months….well, years. I’ve contemplated hypnosis. I talk about this constantly with my sister and best friend- they also share these sentiments……It is crazy and comforting to know you are not alone, that there are so many of us out there that experience these same things. Hopefully one day we will figure out how to move out of these cycles and onto more positive and sustaining ones. xo
Thanks so much, Katie! It definitely stinks that so many of us deal with this issue, but great to know that we’re not alone! I hope you find success soon!
This sounds really interesting! I have never been hypnotized, but it sounds very relaxing. I’m so glad that you got this experience. I love your raw and honest posts. I can’t wait to see you in May and give you a huge hug. I think you are one of the most beautiful women I know… inside and out!
You are so sweet- and right back at you!!
What an amazing experience! I am so proud of you for opening up to us
I know how hard it is, and how you and I relate to this so so much. 10-15 pounds sounds like SO little for the amount we’ve lost in the past, but it certainly holds us back emotionally from more than we probably are aware of. We just have to keep going and we will reach our “happy body”- I love that by the way! Happy body 
Yeah- I have to say that losing the last 10-15 is MUCH more difficult than the first 50- especially the second time around!
Happy Bodies- here we come!
I read this post from my phone originally, so wanted to come back and comment. I think this is so cool, a very different way to approach weight loss, but I think so much is subconscious it makes sense! Thank you for being so open and sharing this.
I read every single word, and I appreciate you opening up about your experience–even though I’ve been privileged to have honest and open conversations with you about it in person. I know you will get to your happy body, and that you have boundless supports to get there.
I honestly can relate to the fat body suit idea, because my body dysmorphia can be pretty intense…to the point I see pictures and think, “Wait. Really?” When you are a ‘former chubby girl’ I think the fear of always getting back there lingers…and is probably why I have obsessively calorie counted for so long. I’m glad to be breaking down THAT wall.
“I think the fear of always getting back there lingers” <- Umm, can I just say a big AMEN to that?!?!
Wow, what a great experience! I love how you shared the imagery of your thoughts during the whole process. I never really knew that much about hypnosis until now…my mind is always so go, go, go that I wonder if I could get it to shut up long enough to even try something like that! I especially like the idea of cutting out a food for a couple of weeks…and the thought of actually creating an aversion to it? Wow. I’ve actually found that when I’m struggling with controlling my impulses with my “trouble foods”, the best thing to do is to completely ignore them. After a few days, the “cravings” usually subside. Usually it’s cereal, granola, and nut butter that get the best of me so when I feel like the handfuls and spoonfuls get a little out of hand, I just try to focus on more savory dishes for a while, but I swear I always eventually come back to them. So crazy how certain foods can seem to have so much power over us, right?
[...] of my usual habit of going into the pantry and grabbing a handful (or two) of whatever I saw (thank you, hypnosis!), I had a [...]